HI again!

Single pa rin ako ngayon haha. After nung nangyari last year, I haven't been able to update my blog, as if kung may nagbabasa noh? hahaha

Nangyari ang nangyari

Yup, had a relationship with a married woman. Almost for a month. Yup she's still my co-worker so ang hirap diba? Getting support from my friends, and I'm really lucky, may support cast ako. And they were really glad I ended it.

I'm moving on, though when i speak to her, flashback of memories come, but I try to stop thinking about them, kasi its useless, and its for the better, and its for myself.

Hindi ko naman siya pwedeng hindi kausapin, kasi sa work eh. Sa kanya, she just became "bato(numb)" again, so yun. We're casual in the office.

I'll never enter this mess again, mahirap!

But I can smile now :)

So wag papatol sa may asawa ha!

The Radio Dept. Live in Manila!

Yup that's true! Awesome, a birthday treat for myself. Its on April 20 at the Hard Rock Cafe. See you there!

Depression Mode

Bad trip. Nahuhulog na talaga ang loob ko sa kanya. Akala ko kaya ko ng wala lang, wala lang pag holding hands kami, or pag tatawagin niya ako sa "love" names namin. Pero hindi ko pala kaya. In the first place talo naman talaga ako, makipag laro ka naman ba ng apoy sa may asawa na.

Hindi ko alam kung paano nalaglag ang loob ko sa kanya. Ang purpose ko lang naman talaga noon eh tulungan siya, dahil stale yung marriage nila. As she would also describe herself, para siyang "bato", na wala ng nararamdaman. I wanted her to feel alive again, I want her to feel that she is loved and needed. And in return, I realized too, I need to feel that I am loved, and needed too. Kaya minsan, I expect things that I will never get from her, like commitment and love, she can't completely give that.

Officemate ko siya, so ang hirap iwasan ng situation. How can I say, don't be sweet anymore?! It will all be awkward after that. Fuck. Bad trip talaga. We can maybe be professionals na lang and go on with our work, pero ang hirap maging ganon.

I'm gaining weight again, bad trip talaga. Frustrated ako sa sarili ko. Wala ako sa focus. I'm not moving forward. I don't want to hurt her feelings, maybe I'll try not being sweet anymore, sana maintindihan niya, or I'll just talk to her. Mahal ko na siya, that's why I'm acting weird. Ang tanong eh kung mahal ba niya ako haha. Pagtatawanan ko lang sarili ko sa huli.

SO wag na kayong manlandi ng may asawa. Mahirap. Walang pupuntahan.

Radio Dept. in Manila?!

Well, rumor has it, and they'll be performing at Hard Rock Cafe in Glorietta 4. I hope this pushes through!